Angelica Ross Explains Why She Ended Her Engagement
*Angelica Ross, the actress and activist known for her roles in Pose and American Horror Story, has been candid about her past relationships. She once shared that she was engaged to a white man in a relationship that lasted eight years. Ultimately, she broke off the engagement after realizing the dynamics were harmful to her identity as a Black transgender woman.
In a 2021 interview with Essence, Ross revealed that her fiancé asked her to keep their relationship a secret. He was comfortable taking her to restaurants, but unwilling to introduce her to his family. She explained this as an example of societal pressures and internalized racism, saying, “A man can take her to a restaurant but not home to his mother.” That realization pushed her to end the relationship, choosing self-respect over a life of hiding.
How “Decolonized Dating” Shaped Angelica Ross’s Perspective
Ross’s breakup became the foundation for her concept of “decolonized dating.” Reflecting on her experiences, she described how years of anti-Black attitudes—even from people she loved—had shaped her dating choices. She admitted struggling with internalized anti-Blackness, especially after being bullied in childhood and exposed to homophobic rhetoric.
During public discussions, including appearances on Black Women OWN the Conversation in 2019, Ross explained that her former partner’s anti-Black beliefs left her feeling like one of the “good ones.” This mindset caused her to distance herself from Black men, reinforcing stereotypes she later realized were rooted in colonial frameworks. Decolonized dating, she says, means rejecting those limiting norms and embracing authentic connections, whether interracial or within the Black community.
Angelica Ross on Choosing Love Over Fear
Ross’s philosophy does not reject interracial love but challenges the idea that partner choices should be defined by societal approval or colonial expectations. She has expressed openness to dating Black men, shifting from avoidance to love. At the same time, she remains committed to exploring possibilities freely, including through platforms like Bumble, where she discussed her journey in 2021.
This shift reflects Ross’s broader activism around equity and empowerment. As the founder of TransTech Social Enterprises, she consistently advocates for marginalized voices to embrace self-awareness and dignity in all aspects of life, including love. Her views on decolonized dating highlight the need for relationships built on honesty, acceptance, and alignment with one’s identity.
Public Reactions to Angelica Ross’s Reflections
Ross’s openness about her relationships and concept of decolonized dating has sparked strong discussions online. Many have praised her for addressing internalized racism, while others remain skeptical about why marginalized people pursue relationships with partners holding prejudiced views.
“So trans women running behind racist white men is a thing?”
“My thing is, you know these people are racist, yet you still stay with them because what? Do they think they could fix/change them? I don’t get the appeal of this.”
Why Angelica Ross’s Story Matters
Angelica Ross’s reflections provide more than just a personal love story—they highlight how race, identity, and respect intersect in modern relationships. Her idea of decolonized dating challenges people to unlearn harmful narratives and to build love on foundations of equality and authenticity. By speaking openly, she continues to spark important conversations about race, gender, and intimacy in a way that resonates far beyond Hollywood.
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